OK, just kidding.
The list below is not by any stretch a list of the 301 greatest screen actors of this or any other time. Unlike, say, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, I’d never be so presumptuous as to attempt to qualify (or for that matter, quantify) a craft which is at its core so wildly arbitrary and utterly subjective. Instead, this is a very personal list: the 301 men and women I’ve most enjoyed watching perform onscreen over the past half century.
Some are leading actors and name-above-the-title stars; others mere bit players. Some worked in a bygone era; others’ best work may still be out there. Yet, each name on this list represents a talented actor who has the ability to make any film or program in which he or she appears more enjoyable for me – often by doing little more than just showing up.
Over the course of the six or so days that I spent compiling this list, I would rack my brain for names, then run to my desk to write them down as they popped into my head. (And, truth be told, I was actually going to list them in the order in which they first came to me, before realizing that would be unwieldy and decided to alphabetize them).
This orgy of free-associative name-dropping may on the surface appear to be an exercise in self-indulgence, if not outright excess. But I can assure you; when I finally came up with the 301st entry and took a moment to review what I had done, something profound happened. I realized that in the process of my compiling this lineup of talented men and women – actor by actor, name by name, era by era – I had slowly but surely pieced together an important part of my own life's story; the story of a young man who grew up with a deep passion for the craft of acting and someone who spent week after week for 50 or so years consuming movies and television programs as if they were…well, popcorn.
In fact, he still does.
So here’s to all you storytellers up there onscreen, and to all those things, good and bad, you teach us about ourselves.
Danny Aiello
Joan Allen
Jennifer Aniston
Eve Arden
Alan Arkin
John Astin
Val Avery
Lew Ayers
Hank Azaria
Dylan Baker
Walter Baldwin
Christine Baranski
Barbara Barrie
Lionel Barrymore
Kathy Bates
Chris Bauer
Hugh Beaumont
Harry Bellaver
Maria Bello
Annette Bening
John Billingsley
Edward Binns
Whit Bissell
Ruben Blades
Humphrey Bogart
Ray Bolger
Peter Boyle
Marlon Brando
Jeff Bridges
Lloyd Bridges
Matthew Broderick
Nigel Bruce
Roscoe Lee Browne
John Candy
Bobby Cannavale
Steve Carell
Art Carney
Lon Chaney, Jr.
Maury Chaykin
Don Cheadle
Montgomery Clift
Claudette Colbert
Margaret Colin
Sean Connery
Paddy Considine
Elisha Cook, Jr.
Chris Cooper
Ellen Corby
Jeff Corey
Wendell Corey
Brian Cox
Wally Cox
Daniel Craig
James Cromwell
Joan Cusack
Blythe Danner
Royal Dano
Jane Darwell
Bette Davis
Bruce Davison
James Dean
Mos Def
Benicio Del Toro
Robert De Niro
Johnny Depp
William Devane
Melinda Dillon
Martin Donovan
Paul Dooley
Illeana Douglas
Kirk Douglas
Melvyn Douglas
Robert Downey, Jr.
Olympia Dukakis
Robert Duvall
George Dzundza
Buddy Ebsen
Sam Elliott
Noah Emmerich
Edie Falco
Siobhan Fallon
Vera Farmiga
Will Farrell
Frank Faylen
John Fiedler
Albert Finney
Paul Ford
Anne Francis
Dennis Franz
William Frawley
Morgan Freeman
George Furth
John Garfield
Teri Garr
Alice Ghostley
Paul Giamatti
Jack Gilford
Annabeth Gish
Ned Glass
Jackie Gleason
James Gleason
Ruth Gordon
Frank Gorshin
Ryan Gosling
Lauren Graham
Gloria Grahame
Cary Grant
Lee Grant
Dabs Greer
Jane Greer
Charles Grodin
Joan Hackett
Gene Hackman
Charles Hallahan
Ed Harris
Sterling Hayden
Rita Hayworth
Ethan Hawke
Katherine Hepburn
Glenne Headly
Eileen Heckart
Ed Helms
Percy Helton
Barbara Hershey
Stephen Hill
Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Sterling Holloway
Dennis Hopper
Edward Everett Horton
Djimon Hounsou
Arthur Hunnicutt
Bill Irwin
Jason Isaacs
Burl Ives
Dean Jagger
Richard Jenkins
Michael Jeter
Scarlett Johansson
Ben Johnson
Carolyn Jones
Tommy Lee Jones
Buster Keaton
Cecil Kelleway
Mike Kellin
Percy Kilbride
Ben Kinglsey
Bruno Kirby
Kevin Kline
Don Knotts
Lisa Kudrow
Burt Lahr
Christine Lahti
Burt Lancaster
Diane Lane
Jessica Lange
Jack Lemmon
Oscar Levant
Sam Levene
Eugene Levy
Damian Lewis
Richard Libertini
Laura Linney
Carole Lombard
Marion Lorne
Peter Lorre
Myrna Loy
Ida Lupino
Jane Lynch
John Carroll Lynch
Peter MacNicol
William H. Macy
Virginia Madsen
Tobey Maguire
Mako
Jenna Malone
Fredric March
Lee Marvin
Mary Stuart Masterson
Walter Matthau
Rachel McAdams
Edie McClurg
Myron McCormick
Mark McKinney
Howard McNear
Steve McQueen
Donald Meek
Allan Melvin
Burgess Meredith
Armin Meuller-Stahl
Robert Mitchum
Alfred Molina
Marilyn Monroe
Alvy Moore
Frank Morgan
Howard Morris
David Morse
Paul Muni
Patricia Neal
Kate Nelligan
Paul Newman
Edward Norton
Warren Oates
Cathy O’Donnell
Catherine O’Hara
Maureen O’Hara
Denis O’Hare
Frank Overton
Ellen Page
Gwyneth Paltrow
F. William Parker
Mary-Louise Parker
Will Patton
David Paymer
Max Perlich
Gregory Peck
Austin Pendleton
Sean Penn
Nehemiah Persoff
River Phoenix
Rebecca Pidgeon
Oliver Platt
Christopher Plummer
Natalie Portman
William Powell
Robert Prosky
Richard Pryor
Randy Quaid
Aidan Quinn
Anthony Quinn
Tony Randall
Michael Rapaport
Donna Reed
John C. Reilly
Lee Remick
Jean Reno
Giovanni Ribisi
Beah Richards
Michael Rispoli
Thelma Ritter
Jason Robards, Jr.
Sam Rockwell
Chelcie Ross
Robert Ryan
Peter Sarsgaard
Timothy Scott
Milton Selzer
Tony Shaloub
Dick Shawn
Wallace Shawn
Ann Sheridan
Frank Silvera
Phil Silvers
Stellan Skarsgard
Hal Smith
Lois Smith
Mira Sorvino
Paul Sorvino
Kevin Spacey
Arnold Stang
Mary Steenburgen
Inger Stevens
James Stewart
Lee Strasberg
Meryl Streep
Sharon Stone
Donald Sutherland
Charlize Theron
Uma Thurman
George Tobias
Stephen Tobolowsky
Marisa Tomei
Regis Toomey
Rip Torn
Spencer Tracy
Henry Travers
Stanley Tucci
Jo Van Fleet
Pruitt Taylor Vince
M. Emmett Walsh
Jack Warden
Ethel Waters
Naomi Watts
Tuesday Weld
Jack Weston
Jesse White
Dame May Whitty
Mary Wickes
Dianne Wiest
Fred Willard
Noble Willingham
Scott Wilson
Jonathan Winters
Natalie Wood
Alfre Woodard
Joanne Woodward
Teresa Wright
Ed Wynn
Keenan Wynn
Anton Yelchin
Steve Zahn
S.Z. Zakall